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Joke of the Day

"Teacher: Who fought in the Civil War? Millennial student: Captain America and Iron Man. T: ...."

"A man goes to a library and asks if they have a book on suicide The librarian says ""Fuck off, you won't bring it back."""

"How did the prostitute get promoted? She slept her way to the top!"

"A wizard is driving down a road and he turns in to a driveway."

"Floyd Mayweather was asked about remarks made by critics on last night's fight. He said ""I don't tend to read into things"""

"What do you get if you cross Islam and Capitalism? No more jokes about the profit."

"What is the difference between New York City and the deep south? In the deep south they at least had a show trial before letting murders walk free."

"Paper towel ads always show kids making huge messes then mom smiles & cleans it up. My mom would've handed me a mop then beat me with a belt"

"What does Dr. Oz do when you throw scientific evidence at his head? Ducks like a quack."

"Probably should not have driven home from the bar last night.. especially considering I walked there."