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Joke of the Day

"My barber just got arrested for selling drugs. I've been his customer for 6 years. I had no idea he was a barber."

"Why is an apple a Dalek's favourite fruit? Because it keeps the Doctor away!"

"I would be so pissed if someone shook me all night long."

"A woman is a lot like an oven You gotta warm her up first but then you can put your meat inside."

"Manager: Our new midfielder cost ten million. I call him our wonder player Fan: Why's that? Manager: Everytime he plays I wonder why I bothered to buy him!"

"I'm making a fortune out of promoting home security systems. The pitch is easy. All I do is say ""Good morning"". At 3am in the morning whilst sitting on the end of their bed."

"A band player accidentally broke his instrument. He got in a lot of treble. Edit:That pun didn't end on a good note."

"I've fallen in love with the internet. It was love at first site.."

"My doctor said he needed a stool sample from me. The timing was perfect. I was about to go to Ikea anyway"

"A man walks into a caffe splash"