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Joke of the Day

"A wizard is driving down a road and he turns in to a driveway."

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger... unless you have muscular dystrophy, in which case you most certainly will not."

"James is coming over. ""James from work or James who thinks he's a leprechaun?"" J: TOP O' THE MORNIN' TO YA! ""I'll hide the Lucky Charms."""

"Did you hear the one about the Mexican magician? He told his audience that he'd disappear on the count of 3. He counted ""Uno! Dos!""... And disappeared without a tres."

"In the morning, I woke up on the floor next to my bed. I must have fell asleep."

"Friends are like snowflakes. If you pee on them they disappear."

"Men used to slay dragons, and here I am shuffling around like a penguin with my pants around my ankles looking for extra toilet paper."

"How do I know that Trump will be our next president? Because Orange is the new Black."

"What did the rock say when he had to leave his girlfriend for a long time? I pumice I'll come back soon!"

"My doctor told me I need to stop masturbating I asked why, he said something about examining me. Lets see what you got Reddit. Keep the title and change the punchline."