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Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between New York City and the deep south? In the deep south they at least had a show trial before letting murders walk free."

"For sale: one parachute. Only used once, never opened, slight stain."

"Two aquatic mammals just broke up. They wanted to sea otter people."

"What do you call a man with a blood-covered axe with necklaces made of fingers running towards you? Why the fuck are you still thinking what to call him? Run and get the cops!"

"Of course you don't know 'our song.' You didn't know we were even dating, silly. Or that the girl you had lunch with is in my trunk."

"You can tell a lot about a person by their car.... For example, if it's in a ditch, it's a woman."

"""Bless your heart"" is southern for ""I'm pretty sure you were dropped on your head as a child."""

"I'm ambivalent about Mongolian literature. It has its prose and Khans."

"Yo mammas so fat When she fell in the grand canyon she got stuck in between"

"A small joke Old people at weddings say to me ""your next"" I do the same to them at funerals *-*"