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Joke of the Day

"I wonder if Jesus knows that everyone just pretends to be his friend so they can move into his sweet cloud house."

"On my way to the mall yesterday I passed the Big & Tall Men's clothing store. Outside the store a troop of Girl Scouts were selling cookies. I guess it really is location, location, location..."

"What's the difference between Hitler and Michael Phelps? Michael Phelps can finish a race."

"I turned my hobby into a job - George, Gynecologist"

"What's the difference between a job and a wife? After 10 years, the job still sucks."

"I want to die the same way I was born. Naked, screaming, and covered in blood."

"She's as smart as bait."

"""I just left my job. I couldn't work for that man after what he said to me."" Friend: ""What did he say."" Me: ""You're fired."""

"I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey... But then I turned myself around."

"Guy is taking a super loud dump in the toy. So I kick in the stall door and yell, ""Fuck you, man who is shitting!"" I kick in the stall door and yell, ""Fuck you, man who is shitting!"""