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Joke of the Day

"Guy is taking a super loud dump in the toy. So I kick in the stall door and yell, ""Fuck you, man who is shitting!"" I kick in the stall door and yell, ""Fuck you, man who is shitting!"""

"My girlfriend is a game girl And I'm the game boy"

"*at funeral* ME: I know how you feel FRIEND: Dont bring up the time you only got yel-- ME: One time I only got yellows in my Starburst pack"

"Cat was like, ""I've been trying to call you all day. 8888888888888888888888888884. That's you, right?"""

"What does Iphone7 and spermbank have in common? JACK OFF"

"Where do magical animals go to jail? Azkabarn"

"My favorite Spice Girl was Coriander Connie. (She was crushed by a falling air conditioner before their first album came out)"

"They told me if you put your newborn in front of an orphanage he would grow up an Orphan So I stuck my baby in the ATM machine so he could grow up to be a rich banker"

"Q: How many editors does it take to change a light bulb? A: If we change the light bulb we'll have to change everything."

"Why does chav code never compile? They end every statement with init"