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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between Hitler and Michael Phelps? Michael Phelps can finish a race."

"Stopped shaving for November, at first I hated the mustache, but what can I say? It's grown on me."

"This kid in target fell on the ground screaming bc his mom wouldn't buy him candy & now she's yelling for us both to get up and be quiet."

"The only real importance in life is getting ahead. Head. I meant to say head."

"What do you call a Russian sovereign with dwarfism and a taste for both men and women? A little bizar"

"Highway to Hell is my favorite wedding song."

"50 Shades of Grey is also the title of the 101 Dalmatians alternate ending where Cruella wins and makes a coat out of the puppies."

"What's long and hard and has cum in it? Cumulative exams."

"If there's a pedicure, why are there still pedophiles?"

"What do you call it when people line up well? High queue-ality."