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Joke of the Day
"What instrument did Bill Clinton play? That whore Monica."
Next Joke
"A photographer shot his subject with a Canon. She was blown away."
"A person automatically becomes ten times more attractive when you find out they like you!!!"
"You're probably wondering how I tweet so much while maintaining a loving marriage and two amazing kids. The key is neglect."
"How much does a dead battery cost? It's free of charge"
"[crowded elevator] Alright I'm a little concerned about the capacity so let's all go around and say how much we weigh *gets out calculator*"
"Hang in there, people suffering from natural disasters and deadly diseases - we're putting ribbons on our cars as fast as we can"
"Why did the hipster burn himself? Because he played with fire before it was cool."
"""Someone's been sleeping in my bed!"" said mommy bear. ""Who hasn't"" muttered daddy bear. ""What?! You wanna do this now, in front of the kid!"""
"Why are hurricanes sometimes named after girls? because When they come they're wild and wet like hurricanes, but when they go they take your house and car"