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Joke of the Day

"Having a traditional Columbus Day. Headed to a casino to hand out blankets with smallpox on them."

"I spend a lot of time thinking about you and how you were pretty much good with everything. By you I mean Nutella."

"Justin Bieber gets 40,000 retweets just for tweeting 'Hello', so here's my attempt: Hele0iM1. Ah, harder than it looks. Fair play to him."

"What did the math book say to the literature book? You're so full of great stories, I'm just filled with problems"

"Why was Jesus such a bad carpenter? He couldn't remove three nails to save his life"

"Louie C.K.'s Honda Civic joke at the Oscars Really struck Accord"

"Why are all the streets in Paris lined with trees? Because Nazis prefer to march in the shade."

"7: Mama, are you lonely when we go to bed? Me: (Handle this like a great mom. Get the look off your face. Don't laugh.) Of course, sweetie."

"My Grandpa used to tell me ""Eat Every Bean and Pea on your Plate""!"

"What do you call the famous astronomer whose observations were the foundation of Kelper's great works. Typo Brahe."