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Joke of the Day

"7: Mama, are you lonely when we go to bed? Me: (Handle this like a great mom. Get the look off your face. Don't laugh.) Of course, sweetie."

"It did feel good. I used the craziest toilet this morning. It was one of those toilets that shoots water up your butt I forget the name. Bidet, it felt amazing."

"What did the pirate say when he turned 80 Aye Matey!"

"How does Austin Powers decide which guys he will sleep with? (NSFW) By giving them an oral test first. ""If you can gag me, you can shag me!"""

"I am opening a new restaurant... ...called ""Whatever. I Don't Care"". Gonna make a killing on date night."

"How do the Lannisters save money on new beds? They push Two twins together to make a King"

"Happy New Year #2018 first."

"Hillary said she wants to be the next president because there haven't been many women in the Oval Office. Bill said, ""That's not true, there's been plenty of women."""

"The truth will set you free. Unless the truth is you committed murder. In which, the truth will get you 25 to life."

"In West Philadelphia born & raised/ through my anus is where I got most of my AIDS - Tom Hanks in Philadelphia'"