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Joke of the Day

"Why was Jesus such a bad carpenter? He couldn't remove three nails to save his life"

"How many prostitutes do you have to kill until someone notices? I'm not sure yet."

"Did you know someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds? I feel bad for the poor fella."

"How do you keep a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an axe."

"How did Obama celebrate his reelection? He hosted a Democratic Party."

"If you could choose between 1 billion dollars and world peace... What would the color of your new Lamborghini be?"

"What does a dog do that you step in? Pants."

"I'm not sure how messed up this is. What did Bill Cosby say when he was asked about the child abuse claims? Kids say the darnedest things."

"A man is on vacation and gets a call that his mother-in-law has died. They ask him if he wants to cremate or bury her. He responds, ""shit You better not take any chances do both."""

"I have a theory that consuming little bits of peanut butter encased in colored candy shells provokes silly rhymes. I call it my Reeces Pieces Thesis. . . . . I'll see myself out."