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Joke of the Day

"How many MRAs does it take to screw in a light bulb? Tires need changing too you know!"

"My wife said she would leave me if I didn't stop using Monkee's song references. I thought she was joking. Then I saw her face..."

"I met my wife while on holiday. Which was awkward, as I'd told her I was going to a funeral."

"At least people that have hit rock bottom are disciplining their pet rocks This joke brought to you by my ten year old son"

"For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened."

"What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer"

"I have an actual date this weekend so if any of you are in love with me, you better say something or forever hold your peace."

"A man was caught having sex with the Venus de Milo... ...he was charged with statutory rape"

"It's not illegal to wear a pinstripe suit & slick back your hair. Then go to a restaurant & ask them if they got ""that thing"" while winking."

"Wife: Let's go out and have some fun tonight. Me: Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway light on."