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Joke of the Day

"Its hard to say ""I love you"". It even harder to say ""I am sorry"". But try saying ""armudlajbarfajkajthagartughir""."

"Quitting smoking is really easy... I've done it like 100 times already"

"Canadians are easy to identify ... ... you can spot them 1.6 kilometres away."

"A day or two after eating jalapenos I realize I've made a mistake That shit burns."

"Infatuation prick is the answer, what is the question? How do you want your wontons cooked?"

"I hate to call it ""one night stands."" I prefer ""auditions."""

"You know who's even bigger than Ariana Grande? Ariana Venti."

"Hmm. Nissan Altima TV commercial boasts NASA inspired zero-gravity seats. But if you're in zero gravity, you don't need seats"

"My car broke down outside Dominos last night. So I ordered a pizza to be delivered to my house and got a lift off the driver."

"Yesterday my boss asked why I was tardy and I said, ""I don't think you're supposed call people that any more."""