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Joke of the Day

"My wife said she would leave me if I didn't stop using Monkee's song references. I thought she was joking. Then I saw her face..."

"Q: Why did the suspenders get arrested? A: Because they held up a pair of pants."

"Why are oil miners and police men mortal enemies? One brings black stuff and the other gets rid of it"

"Achilles thought his job interview was going well until they asked about his greatest weakness... Then he had to admit defeat."

"Give a man a six pack and he'll drink for a day. Give him a 24 pack and he'll drink for a day."

"What's the difference between Light and Hard? You can sleep with a light on"

"What do you call a clown and a crook rolling in feces? The US elections."

"Whats the most politically divided animal? The polar bear.. I'll see myself out..."

"I just heard my roommate mixing some beats except I don't have a roommate and it was my cat throwing up."

"I have a nightlight flashlight...I can only see in the dark for 2 seconds in 10 second intervals"