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Joke of the Day

"What's similar between Gump and Trump? They are both mentally challenged and ""just felt like runnin'"""

"I'm quitting drinking for good. Now I drink for evil."

"If a tree falls in the forest, does anybody hear? Yes. Chuck Norris hears it. Chuck Norris can hear everything. Chuck Norris can hear the shrieking terror in your soul."

"What do porn and heavy metal have in common? Both used to have a lot more hair back in the 70's and 80's"

"The annoying moment when I get comfy in bed and realize I forgot to do something."

"My girlfriend was going to take my last name when we get married... but now we're changing it to Clinton so we can get away with anything we want"

"You call it the Friend Zone. I call it Palcatraz."

"I wish I were a Jedi. I don't want to use the Force or anything. I just want to hang out in my bathrobe all day."

"Uranus has been the butt of many jokes. It's the gassiest of all planets."

"Trump: The less immigrants we bring in the better' .... .... .... ..... Pence: The fewer' .... .... .... Trump: I told you not to call me that yet'"