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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend was going to take my last name when we get married... but now we're changing it to Clinton so we can get away with anything we want"

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"[loud crashes] Me: What was that? 4-year-old: Nothing. Me: 4: Me: OK. Parenting is easier than it looks."
"Why don't chickens wear underwear? Because their peckers are on their face."
"The problem majoring in Electrical Engineering... is keeping up with Current Events."
"How many Muslims does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Allah them"
"Why did Barbie never get pregnant? Because Ken came in a different box. Badum tiss."
"Why does the graveyard have fences? Because people were dying to get in!"
"What do you with a dying chemist? Well, if you can't helium and you can't curium, all you can do is barium!"
"*Breaking news* The inventor of the anagram has died may he 'erect a penis'."
"Why is divorce so expensive? Because it is worth it."