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Joke of the Day

"Why would the Holocaust have failed if the victims were Islamic? Because it would have been impossible to get a Muslim to take a shower."

"Being raised as a catholic was tough. As soon as I hit 12 I had acne come on my face, as did the priest."

"Did you hear about the guy who was convicted for committing lewd acts on fruit at a grocery store? (Mildly NSFW) He got off on a peel."

"Titanic, but with literally thousands of cats."

"Moses: Thanks for the mana in the desert. God: No problem. Moses: But since you can make anything- God: FOR THE LAST TIME, NO PIZZA."

"Why is a cow that he jumps? Because he higher and higher. ^(I translated the joke from Dutch, and yeah it's supposed to not make any sense, it just sounds funny, in Dutch at least. :-$)"

"A new type of broom has just been released, It is sweeping the nation."

"My mum is a midwife and she always messes up jokes... Which is strange, because I thought midwives were great at delivery."

"There are two muffins baking in an oven: One muffin says to the other, ""Damn it's hot in here!"" To which the other muffin says, ""Holy shit a talking muffin!"""

"Did you hear they made an Emo-Hipster pizza? It cuts itself, and you're supposed to eat it before its cool."