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Joke of the Day

"Moses: Thanks for the mana in the desert. God: No problem. Moses: But since you can make anything- God: FOR THE LAST TIME, NO PIZZA."

"I got an allergic reaction to peanuts. Then I got sued by TheFineBros."

"What's the difference between a car tyre, and 365 condoms? One's a Goodyear, an the other's a great year."

"Send prayers. Laura on Facebook didn't realize she was out of syrup until AFTER the pancakes were made! It's causing quite a stir..."

"My laptop is creeping me out. It keeps saying hello to me. Maybe it's because it's a Dell."

"Einstein used science to get laid; that guy is a genius... I've been using money."

"I was just outsmarted by a revolving door but sure, I'll be your baby's godmother."

"I broke my leg while visiting America At least I got a good taste of their hospitality."

"What do you call an antelope that's really bad at being an antelope? A cantelope."

"There's a new video subscription service in Russia called Nyetflix But the rental period is too short so you're always Russian!"