26002

Joke of the Day

"The genius and the pool player A genius walks into a bar and says, ""I have 200 IQ!"" The pool player replies, ""I have an eye cue too!"" and pokes the genius in the eye."

"So the other night I was fucking this girl in the ass, and she said something like ""I love you?"". So I punched her in the face."

"Growing up on Disney movies has left me so disillusioned about small woodland creatures and their willingness to help me with my chores."

"I had a joke about erectile dysfunction... But I knew you guys wouldn't be up for it."

"Do people who criticize the presidents daughter for smoking pot forget that the last Republican vice president shot his friend in the face."

"Coworker: What's your phone number? *looks up from phone* Me: I don't have a phone. *looks down at phone* Coworker...."

"The fact that jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not have brains is great news for stupid people."

"I scaled Everest! And I give nicknames to fish."

"This is the worst carnival ever. I can't believe they blocked the street off for this. Sir, this is a crime scene."

"Why don't you ever see elephants hiding in trees? Because they're so good at it!"