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Joke of the Day

"So the other night I was fucking this girl in the ass, and she said something like ""I love you?"". So I punched her in the face."

"I tried kicking the habit today. The nun wearing it is extremely pissed."

"Every minivan without an honor student bumper sticker should be required to have one that says, ""My child is a disappointment."""

"What mustache can an alien not pull off? A human chu"

"I want a relationship like from Up. She dies and I get a flying house."

"A train station is where a train stops... A train station is where a train stops, a bus station is where a bus stops, now you know why they call it a work station"

"I just really hate it when people start assuming things.nnnJust like my boss he assumes that I'm working just because I came to work today."

"""Here, throw this away for me."" ~ People who hand out leaflets."

"I am now on three dating sites because you can never get enough rejection."

"Did you all hear about the Cold Air Balloon? It didn't really take off"