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Joke of the Day

"So the other night I was fucking this girl in the ass, and she said something like ""I love you?"". So I punched her in the face."

"Jesus went into an inn. He handed the innkeeper 3 nails and asked, ""Can you put me up for the night?"""

"What kind of money do monsters use? Weirdo (weird dough)."

"TOO LATE? KNOCK, KNOCK WHO'S THERE? 9/11. 9/11 WHO? WHAT? I THOUGHT WE NEVER FORGOT"

"How many Vietnam vets does it take to screw in a lightbulb YOU DONT KNOW MAN! YOU WERENT THERE!! YOU DONT KNOW WHAT IT WAS LIKE!!!"

"Why did the guy lose his job at the suicide prevention hotline? v2 He kept leaving them hanging."

"If a mad scientist ever clones me, throw a cube of cheese in the air. The faster one is me."

"What do they call the Hunger Games in France? Battle Royale with cheese"

"Why did they name the T-Rex in Jurassic World Rexy? Because if they went with the first syllable it would have been called Tyranny."

"It's not a nervous breakdown. I'm having a calm, rational breakdown based on an understanding of how fucked everything is."