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Joke of the Day
"What does Batman do on Father's Day? He oh..."
Next Joke
"Disney owns Miramax, so the gimp from ""Pulp Fiction"" is technically a Disney Princess."
"Dating tip: to impress your date, put a napkin on your lap. Along with your plate. And the table. And the waiter. You're now the restaurant."
"gonna have me one of them sexy closed-casket funerals, leave somethin to the imagination"
"What do you call presents after you've opened them? Pasts"
"When improv teams ask for suggestions, I like to yell ""Learn a trade before your father cuts you off financially!"""
"Found out the name of my neighbor's cat. In other news, I now have free internet."
"How did the Italians lose WWII? They ordered ziti instead of shells."
"Helen Keller walks into a bar... And a table. And some chairs."
"How to scare burglars off.... First put pictures on the wall of you with a tiger. Second put a cat litter box in your hall and shit in it."