151976

Joke of the Day

"When improv teams ask for suggestions, I like to yell ""Learn a trade before your father cuts you off financially!"""

"Mary and Joseph chose to have Jesus in a barn rather than spend Christmas with their families."

"The first step to admitting you have a problem is having a problem."

"Rick Astley is such a nice guy. He'll let you borrow any movie from his Pixar collection except for one. He's never gonna give you Up."

"What were Jesus' final words? ""So long and thanks for all the fish."" Edit: Everyone hates me."

"I suppose you can take my cold dead hand when you pry it from my warm live one and charge me w/unlawful possession of human remains"

"Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says, ""Dam."""

"What do you call a tennis match between Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder? Endless love"

"Lottery- Gilbert Gottfried A man comes home to his wife and says ""Honey pack your bags I just won the lottery!"" She says ""What should I pack?"" He says ""I don't care just pack and get the fuck out!"""

"A man suffering Crohns Disease who speaks to the deceased is currently fornicating with his obese wife. he's a small medium in large."