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Joke of the Day
"What did the redneck say to his sister? Oooh yeah, baby!"
Next Joke
"I can count the number of times I've been to Chernobyl with one hand. It's 42."
"Russian jokes time"
"Jeb Bush told a joke. Please laugh."
"9 y/o daughter: dad, what's your favourite healthy food? Me: fruits. Your's? 9: Eggs Me: Good 9: like Reese's peanut butter eggs"
"Last month I lost my camouflage hat... I'm not sure how I should feel about this"
"I'm not a psycoanalyst... but I metacrazy once."
"Its such a beautiful day to stay inside and tweet about what a beautiful day it is out there."
"Officer, I know I was speeding, but you have to let me go. I'm running late to a concert and I'm the guy who brings the giant beach ball."
"PRO TIP: Stall your execution by asking if the lethal injection chemicals are gluten-free."