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Joke of the Day

"Officer, I know I was speeding, but you have to let me go. I'm running late to a concert and I'm the guy who brings the giant beach ball."

"DATING TIP: Surprise your date! Show up a day early."

"A black man, a Jewish man, and a Chinese man walk into a bar... and the bartender says ""Get the fuck out of here."""

"What's the difference between me and a calendar? You can't fuck the shit out of a calendar"

"I see that El Chapo has been extradited to the U.S. So we may not get a Mexican wall but I bet we get a tunnel!"

"Ya know? You're like a blister... you only turn up once all the hard work is done."

"Why should you always finish telling your jokes to David Carradine? He doesn't like to be left hanging."

"Food trucks were invented by a guy who really loved fast food but hated how cheap it was & how he didn't have to stand in line forever."

"Congratulations to Donald Trump winning the presidency... May his global impact be as tiny as his hands"

"So a Croatian walks into a bar, and the bartender says, ""We don't serb your kind!"""