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Joke of the Day

"Its such a beautiful day to stay inside and tweet about what a beautiful day it is out there."

"What did the mountain climber name his horse? Everest. Any time he is bored I see him Mount Everest."

"My friend drowned last week, so I had a wreath made in the shape of a life jacket in his memory. I'm sure it's what he would have wanted. -Milton Jones"

"A Bill Dawes one-liner ""Sex with two guys and a girl isn't called a threesome it's gay sex with a witness"""

"What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex? Oral sex will make your day, but anal sex will make your hole weak."

"Why couldn't the children see their father after his sex change? Because he was trans-parent"

"The worst thief ever came to my birthday party today. I mean, I've seen other thieves, but this one took the cake."

"Son, who is that German guy who keeps hiding things in our house? Alzheimer, granpa."

"What does Jesus do with all the money he gets from church tithings? Jesus saves."

"Why did the physics teacher break up with the biology teacher? BECAUSE There was no chemistry. LOL"