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Joke of the Day

"""And this is Flegh, Fnnnr, Grmm, Jsssh and Jhee-Jo."" (What My Brain Hears When Introduced to a Group of People)"

"I never wanted to believe that my father was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there."

"Tapioca pudding. Con: insane amount of carbs and sugars. Pro: tastes like you're going down on an angel."

"I always arrive late at the office... ... But I make up for it by leaving early."

"Holocaust joke How do you get a jewish woman's number? You roll up her sleeve."

"I like my exes suicides how I like my whiskey On the rocks."

"TIL You can't have a crusade without... USA"

"What did the mouth say to the nose? Nothing; mouths can't ta... oh, wait..."

"Why did the coach go to Aldi? To get his quarterback."

"At the end of obituaries in the newspaper they should give the person a score out of 100."