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Joke of the Day
"Unfortunate sign in discount warehouse near a retirement community: Shop till you drop!"
Next Joke
"Can you believe my girlfriend's mother said I'm a pedophile because I'm 40 and she's 20? Just because she's a mother doesn't mean she can judge people twice her age."
"Now that gay marriage is legal in the USA OPs can finally get married!"
"What's the worst part about a rape joke? The rape."
"[at sheep farm] Me: So how do you get steel wool? Farmer: well, that we get from our metal sheep Me: huh? *sheep walks by with Slayer shirt"
"They named a cricket tournament after my friend's grandfather. They call it the ashes for a reason."
"Stupidity is dangerous, and thanks to social media we have managed to weaponize it."
"Midwife [handing my baby]: make sure you support his head Me: that's a really great, floppy little head you've got there. Well done"
"Chuck Norris once flushed a condom Three weeks later the ninja turtles were born"
"WHY *smack* DON'T *smack* YOU *smack* JUST *smack* USE *smack* THE *smack* RETWEET *smack* BUTTON?"