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Joke of the Day

"WHY *smack* DON'T *smack* YOU *smack* JUST *smack* USE *smack* THE *smack* RETWEET *smack* BUTTON?"

"What do you call cheese that doesn't belong to you? Nacho Cheese."

"What's the difference between jelly and jam? Well you can jelly your cock up her ass!"

"Why did the computer overheat? Because windows wasn't open."

"WIFE: Where are the groceries? ME: Bacon was on sale. WIFE: Oh god, what does that mean? *sound of dump truck backing into driveway*"

"Why cant obama ever be on a dollar bill? they would have to use to much ink."

"RACIST: im a racist! ME: uh oh RACIST: yea I race cars! ME: oh. I dont think u know what racist means RACIST: & I hate Jews! ME: there it is"

"What do you call a turlte that flies? a shellocopter. damn homies"

"My handwriting has gotten pretty bad... I am the most illegible bachelor in my hometown!"

"Where did the general keep his armies? In his sleevies!"