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Joke of the Day

"Most days I feel like three kids stacked up on each other's shoulders, covered by a huge coat, trying to pass as one of all these grown-ups."

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"Why couldn't the witch get pregnant? Her husband had a holloween-ie."
"What's the difference between Feminism and Islam One is a woman led group that aims to beat the patriarchy. The other is a patriarchy that aims to beat women."
"Capitalization... It's the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse, and helping your uncle jack off a horse."
"A dog with only 3 legs walks into a saloon in the Old West He slides up to the bar and announces: ''I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."""
"Why did the farmer call his horse Baseball? Because it's covered with horsehide!"
"FACT: When a dog barks at you, it's actually their skeleton barking. PROOF: I have never seen a dog without a skeleton bark."
"What's the difference between a meteor and a meteorite? Ite. Sorry, a kid said this in elementary school and it was funny back then :)"
"Tried kidnapping Stephen Hawking the other day... Had the blindfold the bastard so he'd stop yelling for help."
"What would be a terrible name for a new beer? Q: What would be a terrible name for a new beer? A: ""Mondays""...because no one would EVER want to buy a case of the Mondays..."