87412

Joke of the Day

"Tried kidnapping Stephen Hawking the other day... Had the blindfold the bastard so he'd stop yelling for help."

"I know you look at the toilet paper after you wipe."

"I chew gum when I get sad It helps chew me up"

"I named my eraser Confidence... Because it gets smaller after every mistake I make."

"(Waiter) ""What can I get you sir?"" (Gastronomist) ""Something with a simpler plot."""

"Why is it best to teach physics on the edge of a cliff? (Original joke) Because that's where students have the most potential."

"You know you're not a Harry Potter fan if: you think a parcel-tongue is someone who can speak to packages."

"My local newspaper was holding a pun contest. So I submitted ten and I was sure one was going to win, but no pun in ten did."

"I'm always creeped out by the guy who seems to know the age of consent laws a little too well."

"My penis is in the Guinness Book of World Records... ...I wonder how long I can keep it here until I got kicked out of the library."