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Joke of the Day

"Did you all see the shots fired at the Democratic debate just now!!???? Hillary really took aim at Bernie over gun control."

"I can row a boat. Canoe?"

"Anyone hear what Russia is eating for Christmas? Turkey... Too soon?"

"Can we PLEASE... stop beating a dead gorilla."

"Why did Princess Diana cross the road? A: Conservation of momentum. _____ *Also, give me your best dark jokes, I've been out of it a few years and I need to get some new material.*"

"""Were you in Paris on your vacation?"" ""I don't know my wife got the tickets."""

"What's the difference between life and a prostitute? You have to pay a prostitute to fuck you"

"I heard the titanic got a new job... She sells sea shells down by the sea floor. I hear it's a pretty high pressure job."

"What is the handicap parking like at the special olympics."

"[Divorce court] Her: I found his Twitter account. I want a divorce. Judge: He was cheating? Her: No, he was doing inspirational tweets."