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Joke of the Day

"Why did Princess Diana cross the road? A: Conservation of momentum. _____ *Also, give me your best dark jokes, I've been out of it a few years and I need to get some new material.*"

"Mom told meh to not waist my food She said we were gonna have to 'tighten our belts' around here."

"I was holding the door for an Asian guy and he said ""sank you."" So I punched him. Cant believe that he brought up Pearl Harbor lke that"

"""I'm pregnant"" Are you kidding ""Technically yes"""

"Q: What's the highest form of praise you can receive from a pimp? A: A back-handed compliment."

"My wife was stunned!!.. One day my wife and I were cuddling in bed when she said, ""Hon, You are so cozy""... I got offended and yelled back, ""Fuck you.. YOU are sarkozy""..."

"A man was masturbating in an airplane He was arrested for highjacking"

"Why did the two tampons not talk to each other? They were both stuck up cunts."

"So my dad dropped this on my mom this morning Mom - ""You know the neighbor always kisses his wife every morning before work. Why don't you do the same?"" Dad - ""How can I? I barely know her!"""

"What do you call a teacher who's always late? Mr Bus"