44999

Joke of the Day

"I heard the titanic got a new job... She sells sea shells down by the sea floor. I hear it's a pretty high pressure job."

"What did the Irishman text his Wife? ""Honey I'm down at the pub having a pint with the lads. Be home in about 30 min. If I'm not back by then please read this message again."""

"I started a club for guys with erectile dysfunction. It was a total flop. Nobody came."

"Where does steel wool come from? Hydraulic rams."

"I tried to find out why my cat kept licking itself... turns out its actually quite tasty."

"Sometimes I'll take such a good picture of someone I'm like ""this is definitely making it into the slide show at their funeral."""

"What's the difference between a Lentil and a Chickpea? I wouldn't pay $200 to have a Lentil on my face."

"My friend and I were finally able to laugh off how competitive we are with each other. But I laughed harder."

"The inventor of Chapstick died today. Unfortunately his body was lost while being transferred to the morgue."

"Life is just better when you're laughing."