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Joke of the Day

"I heard the titanic got a new job... She sells sea shells down by the sea floor. I hear it's a pretty high pressure job."

Next Joke
 
"I was walking through a cemetery, and I saw a guy crouched behind a gravestone, so I said ""morning"", to which he replied ""no just taking a shit""."
"What is Relative Humidity? The sweat on your balls when you screw your cousin."
"What's the difference between Iron Man And Iron Woman? Iron Man is a superhero, Iron Woman is a command."
"Procrastination is like Masterbation In the end you just fuck yourself"
"Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy"
"DON'T make this weird... (I whisper in your ear, as I pet your eyebrows)"
"""Don't worry. I'll hold your stuff, you just worry about making friends."" --Cargo Pants."
"My girlfriend yelled at me today saying, ""You weren't even listening just now, were you?!"" I thought, ""Man, what a weird way to start a conversation."""
"What's yellow and not a banana Oh, wait I forgot, it is a banana"