252

Joke of the Day

"Peter Pan escaped the adult world... ...by becoming an alcoholic. He goes by Peter the Panhandler now."

"Never let your children play in an orchestra. Too much sax and violins. * Credit to maxwell bot."

"Never seen anyone in Nandos or McDonald's pick up an appropriate amount of napkins - you're cleaning up after a burger not a double homicide"

"Your mama so classless... She could be a Marxist utopia."

"I got this gem from a 6-year-old ...seriously, I need to get rid of it fast, the law really frowns on stealing from children."

"Write the biggest mistake that you've ever made in childhood. I was believing that all people are black or white until the age of 14."

"Hi. This is my first time at yoga. When I called they said to bring a Matt. *points at man standing next to her* Now what do we do with him?"

"He said I won his heart and I was all ""Ugh can I just win like $20? How about a sweater from Sears? A pencil? I could really use a pencil."""

"How do lesbian carpenters work? No studs. All tongue in groove."

"Whats the best part about dating a Black girl? You don't have to worry about meeting her Father"