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Joke of the Day

"4 said he went potty and I asked if it was number one or number two. He said number 7, and now I'm terrified to go into the bathroom."

"Bill Clinton's real-life aging looks like fake Back to the Future aging."

"How to not be racist Be like Mario! He's made by the japanese, he is an italian plumber, looks like a mexican, runs and jumps like a black man and grabs coins as fast as a Jew!"

"Q: Why did the easter egg hide? A: Because it was a little chicken on the inside."

"Why did the egg get a ticket from a lady police officer? Because he was picking up good vibrations."

"Today I'm cancer free! And all the days before that, but it still counts."

"I intend to live forever. So far, so good."

"Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is a woman"

"Why don't Jedi mathematicians use the absolute value function? Because only a Sith deals in absolutes. ^and ^it's ^non-differentiable ^at ^0"

"What did you get your mom for Mother's Day tomorrow? Besides a tiny, brief panic attack?"