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Joke of the Day

"Women can be so ungrateful. I just made breakfast in bed & instead of thanking me, she screams ""Who are you! How did you get in my house?"""

"I saw a car with the registration plate 'BDR MNHF' earlier. Now I feel like I'm seeing it everywhere."

"What do you call a midget psychic on the run? A small medium at large."

"Curb stomping your enemies and having the last thing they see in their pointless lives be your Skechers lighting up >>>>"

"I'd date me. But mainly because I put out."

"Oral sex can make your whole day... But anal sex can make your hole weak."

"You're not impressing anyone, server who didn't write down our orders. You're just making us anxious."

"What did the quiet orange say to the noisy orange? ""Be quiet, I'm concentrating!"""

"A woman is like a suitcase: both hard to carry and a pity to throw away."

"Roses are red, I'm feeling blue There's one less gorilla at the Cincinnati Zoo"