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Joke of the Day

"I saw a car with the registration plate 'BDR MNHF' earlier. Now I feel like I'm seeing it everywhere."

"What do Waitresses and Chemists have in common? They both need to check the table periodically..."

"I wasn't going to buy Thrift Shop on iTunes... But it was .99 cents!"

"Started the mower for the 1st time this year.36 pulls & then I passed out.When I came to, yard had crop circles & the beagle had a mohawk."

"The woman next door was flashing me from her upstairs bedroom . How she got her car in there I'll never know."

"I hate when living under a rock is compared to Fox News. At least living under a rock helps me better understand the suffering of the poor."

"God: Women will bleed for a week. Universe: What will men do for pleasure at that time? God: *sigh* Fine. Mouths. But they'll talk. A lot."

"Like teacher like student Teacher: Did you finish you homework? Kid: Did you finish grading my test? Teacher: I have other children's tests to grade Kid: I have other teachers homework to do."

"Your dad is a motherfucker"

"Do you want me to write good jokes? Good jokes"