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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a midget psychic on the run? A small medium at large."
Next Joke
"If you were to second guess your decision to stay at a hotel on a native american reserve... ....that would be a reservation reservation reservation -credit to Brian Regan"
"A man is being arrested by a female police officer she informs him, ""Anything you say can and will be held against you."" ""Anything?"" he asks with a smirk ""Anything."" ""Tits please"""
"How to get holy water? Boiling the hell out of it"
"Matt LeBlanc was just announced as the newest presenter on BBC's Top Gear It may be a challenge for him, on his last show it's like he was always stuck in second gear"
"What kind of transportation does the Pope take? Mass transit."
"a pizza is basicaly a real-time pie chart of how much pizza i am going to eat"
"How do you keep your Thanksgiving guests from falling asleep on your couch? Infuse the gravy with cocaine."
"Time to diet. Went to the neighborhood pool today and all the women dressed me with their eyes..."
"Ask /r/personalfinance to draw you a line, they deliver a circle. They always make ends meet!"