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Joke of the Day
"Why don't midgets smoke weed? Because they can't get high."
Next Joke
"""Pardon me. Might I murder you with my musket? Yes? Excellent news, kind sir!"" - The Very Civil War"
"Uh oh, happy facebook newlywed, your husband just created a twitter account."
"Where do all the good boys go to hide away? r/cringepics Based off Daya's song ""Hide Away"""
"Me: ""I came to Twitter to be creative and express myself."" Twitter: lol, you said ""came""."
"Coworker: I couldn't sleep. Just thinking all night Me: Maybe try doing some of that here in the office during the day"
"Now..a cheaper way to express your love...-E-cards !"
"When a movie says ""Based on a true story."" it means this is sort of what happened but with way uglier people."
"what's the difference between a well dressed man on a bicycle and a poorly dressed man on a unicycle? attire."
"What's the number one cause of pedophilia? sexy kids"