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Joke of the Day

"When a movie says ""Based on a true story."" it means this is sort of what happened but with way uglier people."

"I went to a Nautica outlet store They had sails on everything"

"How did the dog's owner know his pet was angry about having soap flakes for breakfast? He foamed at the mouth."

"Two pharaohs farted at the same time. They had a toot in common."

"1 in 5 Americans with a Twitter account complain about his/her damn stupid job every fucking Monday."

"Where does the general keep his armies? In his sleevies!"

"What did the mexican student say when he was asked to turn in his essay? I ain't no snitch."

"What do you call a rising poll? Upvote"

"Have you heard about the Butchers 420 Dodgeball Classic? It's a high steaks game."

"What was Justin Timberlake called when he was a kid? Justin Timberpuddle!"