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Joke of the Day

"Coworker: I couldn't sleep. Just thinking all night Me: Maybe try doing some of that here in the office during the day"

"Irish Car Bomb Yanks have a cocktail called an ""Irish car bomb"", but if you stuck two flakes in an ice cream cone and called it a 9/11 they'd get offended."

"What do tigers wear in bed ? Stripey pyjamas !"

"Thanks for being the shoulder to put my head on.. Though being a conjoined twin does have its cons."

"Jogging, but with a car."

"Party Tip: At a 3-year-old's birthday party, you can piss all over the bathroom. ALL OVER!!!! Nobody will suspect you."

"Hey feminists, 70% of a penny for your thoughts?"

"Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he's only human."

"Why do pigs run from medicine? They hate getting cured."

"I just met the most interesting man at the laundromat And then I realized that he can't even afford A washer or a dryer"