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Joke of the Day

"Why did the man commit suicide by helium suffocation? He wanted to go out on a high note."

"Basically anything you buy at the hardware store looks like you're getting ready to take hostages."

"I know Mexican culture is big on traditions: baptism at birth, ear piercing as a baby, but what's the one they do when they turn 15? Have a baby."

"What's 10 inches long, hard as a rock, full of semen and makes all of the ladies scream? The sock under my bed."

"Why did the Irishman only put 239 beans in his soup? Because one more would have been too farty."

"I was looking for some camouflage trousers earlier... But I couldn't find any"

"I've had good' tattooed down my cock. I like to see a bit of good in everyone."

"What did the suicide bombing instructor say to his students? ""Pay attention. I'm only going to show this to you once."""

"What do you call a woman with no clitoris? It doesn't matter, she's not going to come."

"I don't know what ""swag"" is, but I was just told Justin Bieber & Lil Wayne both claim to have it. So, I'm assuming it's not talent."