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Joke of the Day

"What did the suicide bombing instructor say to his students? ""Pay attention. I'm only going to show this to you once."""

"My daughter's been seeing someone called Jim. Only for an hour each time, always in sports gear and often sweaty afterwards. I don't approve"

"What did the hamburger say when it found out that most people liked hamburgers better than frankfurters? 'Hot dog!'"

"*catwoman struggles into suit* *catwoman realises she needs to pee* *crie*"

"""Are you even listening to me?"" is a weird way for my girlfriend to start a conversation."

"Changed my name in Mrs.B's phone to 'Marty McFly'. Sent her a text saying 'be outside Argos at 12pm - we're going back'. She hasn't txt back"

"There are three kinds of people Those who can count and those who can't"

"Nothing beats a beautiful woman. Except Chris Brown"

"Friend celebrated her birthday today by falling off an elephant in Thailand, if you thought I'm the weird one in my circle."

"Saw some kids building sandcastles on the beach so I ran and jumped on one of them. Then I wrecked his sandcastle."