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Joke of the Day
"Friend: All I want for Christmas is a new blender Me: Wouldn't you rather have your life together?"
Next Joke
"A black man walks into a bar, with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender asks: ""Where'd you get that?"" ""The jungle."" Replied the parrot."
"Since the snow came, all the wife has done is look through the window. If it gets any worse, I'll have to let her in."
"This girl told me she liked to be teased in the bedroom so we laid down and I said her new glasses looked stupid and she starts crying. wtf?"
"McDonalds started selling a hotdog called a McJagger. It's mostly lips and a little bit of asshole."
"Was glancing through the Obituaries this morning and found it really creepy that all these people managed to die in alphabetical order."
"*crawls seductively across bed* *elbow gives out*"
"What seperates man from animal? Divorce!"
"A movie called Jurrasick Park where there's no dinosaur activity because they're now sick for some reason."
"I sent an angel to watch over you last night but he came back saying he can't watch porn..."