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Joke of the Day

"Since the snow came, all the wife has done is look through the window. If it gets any worse, I'll have to let her in."

"From what I hear about time spent with abortion doctor's they're really not all that bad Many patients have claimed it's really brought the kid out in them."

"What do you say to a thin American? ""How's the chemotherapy going?"""

"Me: Gouda would pair nicely with this merlot! Priest: This is communion... M: Oh. Gouda would taste well with the blood of Chr- P: Leave."

"What's the difference between a joke and 3 cocks? You can't take a joke."

"Did you hear about the man that lost half of his body? He's all right now."

"Have you heard of the Jewish ""Catch 22""? Free Ham!"

"How many blondes does it take to... How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? 5... 1 to hold the bulb and 4 to spin the chair"

"[talking to family after emergency surgery] Your positive energy saved my life Surgeon: *waves hand* umm hello"

"My wife likes to talk on the phone when she's having sex. The other day, she called me from a hotel."