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Joke of the Day

"A movie called Jurrasick Park where there's no dinosaur activity because they're now sick for some reason."

"How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They already did it before it was cool."

"Dog: [Barks at the mailman] Human: Bad dog. Dog: [Turns to the camera] My human hates bills, yet gets mad when I try to scare the guy off."

"My wife has an odd way of starting conversations. She always begin by saying ""Hey, are you even listening?"""

"I don't trust those trees They seem kind of shady"

"What do you call a bodybuilding Mexican who's run out of protein? No whey Jose."

"Why do the French make omelettes with only one egg? Because in France one egg is un oeuf."

"[Sees girl watching Star Wars] ""Oh I love that movie, the way"" *starts to sweat* ""All those stars are at war with each other"""

"What can you catch from ear fucking? Hearing AIDS"

"Currently stuck at an auction bidding for a house with a lengthy corridor. I'm in it for the long hall."