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Joke of the Day
"Why did the kid cross the playground? To get to the other slide."
Next Joke
"What's the biggest difference between Republicans and Democrats? Republicans sign their checks on the front, and democrats sign on the back."
"A man only buys water from a dancer. His son notices this and after a while he asks him, ""Why do you only buy water from that dancer?"" ""Because,"" the father said with a grin, ""I enjoy *tap* water!"""
"My mailman got gender reassignment surgery. Now he's a post man"
"Riley can be a little girl's name, it's not always a dog's name. If someone says Riley's been sick don't bring up euthanasia right away."
"If a pizza has a radius ""z"" and a depth ""a"" Its volume can be defined by pi* z* z* a"
"When I was a single man, I had an incredible amount of spare time. Since I started listening to full albums I'm always stuck in my room."
"Whoa, calm down, person actually swimming in the swimming pool."
"People you mute should stay in your TL but with a piece of tape over their avatar mouth and their tweets all like ""Mmmp mm mmmph rf mph."""
"Laughter is the best medicine........unless you have Morphine. Then Morphine is the best medicine."