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Joke of the Day

"Why did the kid cross the playground? To get to the other slide."

"*sticks switchblade into bag of NES cartridges, licks tip of knife, nods to boss* It's good."

"How did the hipster burn his tongue? Because he sipped his coffee before it was cool."

"You heard about Pluto? That's messed up, right?"

"A penis walked into a private club. Thank God he was a member."

"I swallowed my wrist watch by accident yesterday, Harry. Good heavens! Does it hurt? Only when I wind it."

"Las Vegas Floor Show What is the difference between a circus side show and a Las Vegas floor show? One has a cunning array of stunts the other has a stunning array of cunts."

"You don't need to hold a girl's hand during an abortion... There's a handrail next to the toilet."

"Holocaust joke How do you get a jewish woman's number? You roll up her sleeve."

"The fastest way to make 500$: Start stock investment with 1000$"