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Joke of the Day

"People you mute should stay in your TL but with a piece of tape over their avatar mouth and their tweets all like ""Mmmp mm mmmph rf mph."""

Next Joke
 
"I kinda like zombies...but can we go ahead & decide whether they can run fast or just walk?...my apocolypse plans depend on it....thanks!"
"If I can punch you without moving my feet, you're in my personal space."
"Guy walks into a DR's office with a duck on his head... Duck says ""Hey Doc an you get this guy off my ass"""
"What do you call someone with no arms? Disarmed."
"Why am I subscribed to r/History I just realized there never anything new there"
"My doctor just told me I was suffering from paranoia. Well he didn't actually say that, but I could tell it was what the bastard was thinking."
"The Biggest Joke of the Day is...... Hillary Clinton's campaign."
"""A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered drawer ."""
"Why don't Jedi make good comedians? Because their jokes always sound forced."