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Joke of the Day

"Why does Olaf have to be a snowMAN when he clearly has snow gender."

"Me: You ate all the cookies and your sister got none. What does that tell you? 4-year-old: I won."

"I asked a friend if he'd eat a piece of dog crap for $1K and he asked ""From whose dog?"" I'm having a hard time accepting that as a factor."

"What gets harder the longer it stays in your mouth? Bubblegum"

"I like my TVs like I like my women... Smart and curved."

"The Edge falling off stage at that U2 concert... it's comedy on at least two levels."

"A black man, a Mexican, a Muslim and a hillbilly are all playing Russian Roulette together. Who is guaranteed to win? Society."

"Why did they arrest Jared Fogle at 3:15? That's when the big hand touches the little hand."

"Ugh I have to write an autobiography?? STORY OF MY LIFE."

"Teeth are so weird. Imagine if all of our bones were exposed and we had to brush them."