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Joke of the Day

"What would Marilyn Monroe being doing if she were alive today? Clawing at the lid of her coffin."

"Did you hear about the scarecrow who won the Nobel Prize? He was outstanding in his field"

"What is the difference between Jesus and Hitler? Jesus fed 5000 people with 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish... Hitler made 6 million Jews toast..."

"I like my women like I like my trail mix... With nuts."

"What do you call a wolf with Stockholm Syndrome? A Dog."

"Newsflash, New Zealand! You're not that new!"

"Grandpa Joe's all, I'm gonna just stay in bed for twenty years. Wait, a CHOCOLATE FACTORY? jkjk I can walk! He's my kinda people."

"What do Spiderman and I have in common? We're both in love with Mary Jane"

"What's the difference between a Jew and a canoe? a canoe tips."

"Me: tries to sleep Brain: M: B: M: B: M: B: if one synchronized swimmer drowns do the others have to drown too?"